Frustration flows, when I want it to ebb. This God-given frustration at dreams unrealized... at the picking feeling that I still reside in the mediocre and not in the promised land of The Calling. Frustration because I know not how to change it.
And then this: (Phil 4:8) Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.
The enemy jabs with reminders of what I have not, when He has placed so much in front of me for me to have. The father of lies would desire me to see discontent, frustration, ... and then the notes of my friend on the piano ring peace in my heart and remind me that worthy is the Lamb who was slain, so that I might have it all. I have been given friends.
I have been given a day to rest. Snow. Christmas trees. Worship belted out and uttered in whispers and all is a beautiful chorus in Your ears.
And even then, the song ends and the knot in my throat returns.
Psalm 119:114 You're my place of quiet retreat. I wait for your Word to renew me.
"Well, child, some things are really meant to be laid down. Every person needs hope planted at the bottom of their hole." - Anne Voskamp
There it is: the reason for the activity. The Calling. The why behind selling lipstick.
Colossians 3: 15 - 16 Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ - The Message - have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room inyour lives. INsruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God!
In Him, there is renewal for transformation. We come to the place of saying, "I CAN'T DO IT, GOD!" And He says, "Well, I've been waiting for that, Renee." What we think is the problem is never really the problem. It's always looking at something to fill the need that only the Savior can fill. We find adult pacifiers that poorly try to replace Him in our lives.
The thing is that it doesn't happen over night. The Power of the Cross must be applied consistently (not just once) in order for transformation to occur. We try repentance in our human strength and fail. We try to think right. Reason right. Do right. But it doesn't transfer to the heart.
Then we recognize our incapability and beg God to deposit it into our souls, to write it on our hearts, to inscribe healing into us, and He graciously does exactly that. God reveals it to me and it becomes me. This Godly repentance. And in that He kills the lie that I've been believing.
Deliver me, sweet Jesus, from the lie that I must live today in mediocrity. By the power of your Holy Spirit, eradicate from me the fear that comes along with realizing my purpose and following my Calling. Pour your strength into me to accomplish what I cannot on my own. Give me your joy in all things. Remind me of what I have so that gratitude might be my default. And by the power of your Son, bring freedom, that I might live it and pass it on.