April 24, 2013

39 Weeks - Unedited.



Well, okay... 38 weeks and 6 days.  But close enough, right?

Unedited because that's all this prego-brain can manage at the moment.

I finally gathered everything for my hospital bag a few days ago. Nothin' like waiting until the last moment, huh? It's not all IN the suitcase, but at least it's all in one place. And I have a list of last minute things.  It is ridiculous how difficult it was for me to get that done. I had the most insane mental block about it.

I'm down to 2 pairs of pants, 2 dresses, and 6-ish shirts that fit me now. They live on a table next to the hospital bag.

Would someone care to please come duct tape my hips and pelvis back together? They seem to have split in half.

I've cut out all obligations at this point, but the Lord is reminding me that I still need to stay productive and occupied.  Or at least distracted.  I need to rest, but I also need to fill my mind with all things true, noble, right, pure, lovely, excellent, praiseworthy, admirable... (Philippians 4:8) Which is actually much easier said than done, because it's sort of hard not to hold my breath - physically and metaphorically.

The past few days have been frustratingly confusing.  I mean I know it's not that big of a deal for the rest of the world and really pregnant women around the world experience the same frustration every day.  But when it seems our life is on hold and we're anxiously and excitedly awaiting, false alarms are no fun.  All day yesterday and this morning I was having contractions that seemed to be fairly consistent and gradually closer together.  Then all of a sudden this morning, they stopped completely.  :-|  For about 8 - 10 hours.  My doula was starting to consider her schedule.  My photographer was making arrangements for a sitter.  And then boom.  Nothin'.

Sigh...

I will wait on God's timing.  I will wait on God's perfect timing.  I will TRUST in God's perfect timing.  

Contractions have started back up again this evening.  And granted, my doctor says I'm at 2 cm and the Baby's head is fully engaged in the pelvis (as opposed to floating back up when he pushes on him like last week). So there IS progress.  Just not as much as I'd thought.

Apparently, patience is a lesson this Baby's going to be teaching me this week.

Baby Boy, I can't wait to see your precious face and know your beautiful cry.  I'm more and more curious each day to know what you are like, to smell your fuzzy (or will it be bald?) head and feel your baby skin on my lips.  So, as my good friend, Ashley, said so eloquently tonight, "SWIM DOWN!  SWIM DOWN!!"

I love you already, Baby.  See you soon.